Right Ladder, Wrong Wall
2022
Are you someone who has a thousand wonderful ideas a week that never seem to manifest themselves into something tangibly useful? Do you feel like your energy is a marvelous scatter-shot, bouncing off the walls without a coherent direction? If so, you are most definitely not alone; it’s likely that you are a highly creative soul, possibly entrepreneurial in nature. While it’s a blast to dance inside your endorphin-flooded brain, it can also be a very discouraging place to live because your special brand of energy has not been able to gain the traction it needs to meet your true heart’s desires.
I have coined a phrase that I use often to describe this predicament. It goes like this: ‘Right ladder, Wrong wall.’ Right intention, wrong execution. We enter a ‘room’ of multiple opportunities (the problem/project) with the best of intentions (right ladder) but fail to meet our goals because we haven’t aligned our purpose and intentions in the right direction (wrong wall). We live our lives full of lovely aspirations but never feel like we fix the problem or complete the project. I feel your pain—it can be an exquisitely awful burden to be wired like this. So, what’s a creative spirit to do?
My approach, honed over four decades of personal practice, is to take a step back, pause, and figure out my ‘home address’ before I try entering a specific ‘room’ for a specific project. Establishing a home address consists of doing some introspective thinking for a couple of hours to set my compass in the direction that is right for me. My main construction requirement is to articulate fully the four cornerstones that build a solid base for me: life purpose, core values, goals, and a life vision statement. From here I have clearer insight to my ‘Why?’ which keeps me going back to the right room and the right wall with the right ladder with equal measures of enthusiasm, discipline, and ultimately success for my projects.
When we articulate our unique gifts and goals and align this energy with our actions, we manifest our divine purpose. This is a valuable exercise for anyone aged eighteen to a hundred-and-eighteen. Schedule an appointment with yourself, and maybe even consider doing these exercises with a partner or a trusted friend. The feedback you can provide for one another is invaluable.
Purpose
My beloved Aunt Judy was the first to say that she’s not the prettiest or the smartest girl in the room, but in my estimation, she was both. In a simple yet profound way, Judy was blithely beautiful: a happy spirit at heart, fully surrendered to the complexities of things she could not control. Judy was the rare human who was finely tuned into her true purpose on this earth and lived her legacy every single day with a simple elegance.
When I reflect back to others their strengths, à la Aunt Judy, everyone benefits.
Judy’s purpose was not her career, or her family, or her attributes. Judy’s purpose on this earth was to see the true beauty in every person she met and reflect that goodness back to them. Judy saw me.
She would focus all her attention on me like a laser straight into my heart. The pure love that emanated from Aunt Judy enveloped me with a wonderful sense of well-being. Judy always had a kind word or direct compliment that felt like deep, dark chocolate melting in my mouth—delicious, rich, and satisfying. It was something of substance that I could recall and draw encouragement from later on. Because this was Judy’s superpower, it was effortless and full of grace.
Purpose is the path through which we learn to focus our energy on the meaning of things, on what matters most. Very few people can articulate their unique purpose in life with accuracy, it’s our Unthought Known, buried deep in our unconscious just itching to get out. How can we discover our superpower and bring it into the light? Start by asking others what they see, and do some brainstorming by making some lists:
Skills & Strengths: What am I good at...?
Hobbies & Interests: What am I interested in…?
Belief: What do I believe the world could use more of…?
People: How can I use the above to help others solve a problem or have an experience…?
Look at your lists and think about this statement by author and psychologist Martin Seligman. The founder of positive psychology defines meaning as ‘using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are.’
I have a dear Pal who had a wonderful career as a special educator. Over many years she has selflessly given her Saturdays to the VT Adaptive Ski & Sports program at Sugarbush. On the surface, it looks like this expert skier’s life purpose is to help kids who are physically challenged to get outdoors and ski. But what I really see as her divine purpose is one who brings light and hope to the families of these children. Her calm, confident demeanor, and her willingness to integrate her life with theirs provides a level of comfort and inclusion for these folks that cannot be calculated. Watching my friend does not make me feel that I should be mimicking her actions. No, the beauty in observing my friend living her purpose is that her special light makes me want to be a more generous person in every way. Magic dust.
Articulating our life purpose is simple: we were put on this earth to enjoy our lives. Period. To make manifest of this, each of us possesses a unique purpose—it’s our gift to humanity. The more of us who live in this conscious knowledge and make a practice of purposeful living, the more divine our collective vibrational energy can be.
So, yes, talk to your people, figure this out ASAP. The more you can align this knowledge with your vocation and avocations, the more satisfying your work and life will be. If you are having trouble getting traction on this concept check out our fine friends at The Purpose Equation for a boost.
Values
To expedite establishing your Values process, begin by reading my Values Vault post. It will guide you through the steps necessary to create a composite of five or six core values that are unique to you, that can serve as litmus test for every decision you make, large or small, going forward. If you want to reduce drama and indecision in your life, and up your success rate, this is your ticket.
Determining Core Values helps you to decide what is True North on your personal compass. Goal setting is a way to make your values a lifestyle priority. To really ‘drive the bus’ and enjoy the ride, you must plan a route, create an itinerary, and ensure that your vehicle is in proper running order. You would not embark on a challenging journey without a map or GPS, so why would you want to travel through your life without a plan and measurable landmarks?
Be mindful of your scope when setting goals: are they soul goals or ego goals? For example, do you want a Ferrari because driving fast with the wind in your hair makes you feel alive, or do you want it because it will make you feel superior to the neighbors down the street?
Goals
For the past thirty years I have been teaching this method of goal setting; it works. Take five sheets of plain paper (landscape layout) and label each with the following headings: Professional, Financial, Personal Growth, Personal Pleasure, Lifestyle (Family & Home). Across the top make a timeline 1-2 years; 5 years; 10 years; 20 years. Write the date. Place the age that you will be next to each time segment.
Now, go crazy—be a kid in a candy store. Without editing for time or resources write down all your dreams in the appropriate category. I repeat, do not limit yourself to your current circumstances. I say, ‘stretch the rubber band out in every direction as far as you can!’ When this process is complete, rewrite each goal through the S.M.A.R.T. goals template. Ask yourself: is my goal…
1. Specifically stated?
2. Measurable?
3. Ambitious?
4. Responsibly Realistic?
5. Timeline based?
As I’ve told my clients over and over, it’s not that we don’t know what to do. It’s that we get distracted from what we are supposed to be doing at any given moment in time, and that puts our momentum in constant jeopardy. From this information you can create action steps that align with your calendar timeline so that you know exactly what it is you said you wanted to be focused on and stick to your plan as closely as possible. (Right ladder, Right wall). Keep tweaking and refining this method so that it works for you.
Life Vision Statement
Writing an individual Life Vision Statement is the fourth cornerstone. This paragraph is a composite of all you have declared thus far and can serve as a daily reminder or prayer to yourself. As a bonus, it can embody your personal definition of what success means to you. (To distinguish the focus, I refer to anything relating to professional career as a Mission Statement, a subset of this category; feel free to write one of these, too).
My Life Vision Statement
This is a statement I wrote several decades ago, and as I read it (again) today, it still resonates clearly with me. I have tried to honor this pledge to myself each day, and while I have not always been successful, I always find comfort when I re-align with its premise (especially the days I’m on the wrong wall with no ladder.)
‘To appreciate each day with my healthy, productive, and happy family. To honor my body and my work with vigorous outdoor activity and enriching mental stimulation, a healthy lifestyle, and a positive mental outlook. To cherish love and satisfying relationships through my many roles: mother, spouse, daughter, sister, friend, business partner, writer, and athlete. To feel joy and to share my humanity. To indulge my passion for dark chocolate, and to laugh a good belly laugh each day.’
At its core, this is simple (but not easy!) stuff. We are all a work in progress. Everything we need is right around us. Be kind to yourself and allow what you are creating to percolate. Rest and reflect. Eat some chocolate. Do not rush the process. Your choices and insights will become more finely honed and resonate powerfully with you over time. Keep working it and refining it.
Sooner than you know, you will find yourself meeting life with more momentum, grace, and satisfaction. You have built yourself a steering wheel to guide you to any address you wish to visit. This is a confidence built of a deep self-knowing and the payoff is joy. You’ve told the Universe specifically what it is you want. Now, the Universe will deliver exactly what it is you need to get the job done. Right ladder, Right wall!
I’d love to hear from you—feel free to send your comments to me. Please share this post with a friend :) and thank you for reading!
